First Anniversary
by Lady Aurelia Crawley
Summary: It's a year to the day since Ella discovered that Elsie is in fact her mother and, confined to bedrest, she organises a special celebration for them both, but Elsie has to pluck up the courage to make the decision that it's time she and Charlie moved into their cottage. Can she do it? And how will Ella react? Quite a lighthearted fic with some Chelsie in it too
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys, me again. Here is the next fic in my series, which I think is going be another short one, unless my muse decides otherwise, but I'm going to make it loving a fluffy. Thanks to everyone who sticks by my fics and gives me support and reviews, I am appreciate them all.**

Ella laid back against the cool of her pillows and smiled contentedly as she ran her hand over her small, but growing baby bump. She glanced to her left and her grin broadened as she looked lovingly at her husband, who was watching her intently. He placed his hand over hers.

After a few moments, Ella shuffled uncomfortably and without having to say a word to him, Henry instantly began to prop her up and fluff up her pillows. She was greatful for his attention to her needs, but she did wish that he would stop worrying and fussing so much.

In the couple of weeks that had passed since they had discovered the welcome news that she was still pregnant, Henry and Doctor Clarkson had confined her to bed to rest and to recuperate after the ordeal of the initial miscarriage. Even though she hated not being able to get up, she knew that it was for her baby, so she agreed to everything Henry told her to do, even if it was with a little reluctance.

Their news about their baby had been welcomed with great delight by their families and the staff as well. Elsie and Charlie, in their capacity as housekeeper and butler, had taken great pride in announcing the news to their subordinates, even though they couldn't be honest and tell them it was their grandchild.

'I don't want any noise outside Lady Aurelia's room or in the corridor during this time.' Elsie had instructed the maids authoritively and she had increased her patrols of the gallery to ensure that everyone did as they were instructed. She also used it as an excuse to pop in to see her daughter more often.

But recent events had meant that she and Charlie were forced to postpone their moving into their cottage together, which was causing Elsie great turmoil. Of course she wanted to be alone with her husband and to start their life together as husband and wife properly, but she couldn't bear the thought of leaving her daughter at such a crucial time, which Charlie did understand, but it had led to a disagreement between them first.

It had all started because the room in which they had been staying in together, had been required by the Duke and Duchess of Kent; this meant that they were required to return to their old rooms in the attics, separated from each other. The development had prompted Charlie to suggest that they think about moving into the cottage.

'…after all, Ella is now in recovery and doesn't need as much care as we were giving her.' He had said, but it wasn't said unkindly. 'Perhaps now is the right time for us to move out and start our own lives together.'

'I couldn't possibly leave her at a time like this! She's still grieving for the child that she lost and I still need to care for her in some way, she is my daughter.' Elsie had replied a little more defensively than she had intended.

'I don't understand you Elsie; you say that you are irritated by the fact we cannot spend any quality time together, in private, but you won't move into our cottage where we can be alone!' He had said with frustration.

'No, I don't suppose you would understand.' She had replied angrily and had then left her sitting room. 'Goodnight Mr Carson.' She added tersely, referring to him formally to demonstrate her point.

He'd sat alone in her sitting room for a least an hour, angry at himself for upsetting her and for being so tactless. He hadn't meant to be. It had been such a stressful few weeks for his family, that it was finally taking its toll on him, but he was taking out his frustrations on the wrong person.

His emotions had been every which way. First, there was his beautiful wedding to his beautiful wife, the happiest day of his life, which had then led to his first Christmas with his wife and daughter, and he couldn't have asked for anything nicer; but, in a heartbeat, it had all changed for them. After knowing for only a few short hours that he was to be a grandfather, Ella had taken ill and had lost the baby and he had felt devastated. However, he had to be strong for the women in his life, so he could never reveal to them both how truly devastated he really felt; not to mention the fact that he had to continue to run the house, whilst hiding these emotions. Then, to top it all off, after weeks of helping both Ella and Elsie in their grief, they discover that Ella was still pregnant, having lost only one of the twins that she had been carrying. So it was only natural that he felt drained physically and emotionally.

After he had sat alone though and thought it through, he realised that he had done something he had promised he never would; he had tried to force Elsie to do something she didn't want to do and he now felt so ashamed of himself.

He had known exactly what needed to be done to put it right and he believed that they should never go to bed on an argument. So, after switching off all the lights downstairs, he'd crept up into the women's quarters of the attics and had knocked lightly on her door before sneaking inside. She, of course, was still wide awake, wracked with guilt for the way she had spoken to him; so when she saw him, she instantly sat up and broke down in tears in his arms.

'I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me.' She'd sobbed.

'I do; maternal protection, which is just the way it should be, of course. I should never have tried chivvying and bullying you into to doing something you didn't want to do and I am so sorry that I did.' He had whispered as he sat next to her on the bed, with his arm around her and her head resting on his shoulder. 'Can you forgive me?'

'Of course I can, you daft man.' She'd replied with a watery smile as she looked up at him and he inclined his head slightly to kiss her.

'I'll make it up to you properly, when we are either in our own private room again or in our cottage.' He had whispered with a mischievous wiggle of his eyebrows, which had made Elsie giggle.

'Why don't you try sleeping in here with me tonight? My bed might not be big, but I'm sure it will take the both of us.' She'd suggested and with a bit on manoeuvring and shuffling around, that is what they had done, but the conversation had played on her mind for a few days after.

Ella was completely oblivious to the argument and to her mam's dilemma, as both Elsie and Charlie had kept it from her; at a time like this, there were just some things that she didn't need to know.

'Now Ella, please remember to ring for what you need. I know that you hate treat your mother like staff, or having someone wait on you at all for that matter, but you need complete bed rest and that means letting people do things for you.' Henry said as he dressed himself.

'Darling will you please stop worrying so much about me. I promise, that if I need anything, I will call for mam, but I hope that I'm not going to have to do this for the next six months.' She replied calmly, but her tone sounded somewhat tired.

'You will do it for as long as I tell you to.' He replied with a smile as he kissed her, which he had intended to be a quick peck at first, but he soon found himself sat on the bed next to her, kissing her properly and getting completely lost in their embrace. 'I really need to go, as much as I would rather sit here kissing you all day, I do have patients that need me.' He whispered with a smile.

'Well than, Doctor Forbes, I had better let you go then, hadn't I?' Ella replied with a grin.

'And just remember what I said, you must ring downstairs if you need anything.' He said as he walked round the side of the bed.

'I promise I will ring,' Ella replied as she then pulled twice on the cord beside her. 'See, I can do as I'm told sometimes.' She added and watched as he left.

'Downstairs the servants were all sat to breakfast, with the likes of Anna and Bates coming and going and bells ringing occasionally, when the bell to the Mercia room rang twice, which was Ella and Elsie's secret code to say that Ella wanted her mam.

'That's Lady Aurelia ringing Mrs Carson; would you like me to go to her?' Anna asked once she had returned from seeing to Lady Edith.

'That's quite alright Anna, I'll go to her.' Elsie replied as she finished the toast she was eating, swigged down the last couple of mouthfuls of tea and then left the servants' hall.

'You rang Milady?' Elsie said jokingly as she walked into her daughter's room and received a disapproving glare from Ella, although the corners of her mouth did twitch.

'Good morning Mrs Carson, I trust you are well.' Ella replied, with the most formal tone that she could muster and they both began to laugh as Elsie took her seat beside Ella's bed.

'I am very well; how are you? Has Henry already left?' Elsie asked as she dropped her playful tone and returned to her normal cheery, yet motherly, tone that she so often adopted now when she was with her daughter.

'I'm fine thank you; I just wish I was allowed to get up and move around, but I'm under strict instructions.'

'And quite right too! We want to look after you both, so you will jolly well let us.' Elsie replied as she took a hold of Ella's hand.

'How's Dad this morning, he hasn't been in to see me yet.'

'He is fine, in fact he was just about to go into the dining room to serve breakfast when I came up.'

'Does that mean that I'm keeping you back from something?'

'No, not at all; you know I always have time to come to see you, always. Although was there actually something you needed or did you just want to see me?'

'No, not really; I just wanted us to spend some time together. I get a bit lonely in here sometimes and I also wanted to speak with you about something.'

'Oh and what is that pray tell?'

'Do you know what day it is tomorrow?' Ella asked apprehensively, unsure as to how to broach the subject.

'Of course, it's the twenty-first tomorrow.' Elsie replied with confusion and Ella gave a small laugh.

'Yes, it is the twenty-first, but that isn't quite what I meant. Tomorrow is the first anniversary, of the day that I found out that you are my mother.'

'I can't believe that I forgot a date like that.' Elsie replied with stunned disbelief and she felt a sudden pang of guilt and pain that she had felt a year earlier and Ella noted it.

'That's quite alright mam, perhaps it's a day you would rather forget?' She asked.

'Yes and no,' Elsie replied as she moved from her chair to the bed and she gripped Ella's hand tightly as she tried to find the words. 'I do love you; I hope you know that…'

'…Of course I know that Mam and I hope you know how much I love you too, it's why I brought it up…'

'Well then, I hope you can appreciate that I have mixed feelings about that day and the days that followed it. Whilst I am delighted that you now know the truth and that I no longer have to lie to you, I would much rather it had remained a secret than to have put you through the pain that I caused you.' Elsie explained apologetically.

'Mam, I love my parents, very much and I adore them all the more for what they did for you, and for me too, and yes, when you all had to reveal the truth to me it hurt, very much; but I would go through that pain ten times over to have you in my life. If we ignore all of the horrible times we've shared in the past year, we've had some really lovely times too and I'm sure there'll be many more to come. Which is why I want to celebrate tomorrow with you. I don't want to be reminded of the circumstances behind you telling me or indeed the circumstances behind you being my mother, if you know what I mean; but I want to celebrate the fact that you are my mam and our first year together.' Ella explained with a small smile.

'That's such a beautiful thing Ella; perhaps you are right. We have been through quite a lot together, you and I, in the last year; it might be nice to celebrate the good things and forget about the bad. What did you have in mind? Nothing too strenuous I hope?' Elsie replied with stern delight.

'No, nothing strenuous at all. I just wondered if it would be possible that you could take your half day tomorrow afternoon and we could sit up here and spend some quality time together. I'll ask Mrs Patmore to make us some cakes and some sandwiches and tea, although what reason I'll give her I don't know, but I'll think about that closer to the time.'

'Oh yes that's right, you don't know about Mrs Patmore do you?' Elsie said suddenly as she remembered the conversation that she had with the cook on Christmas night. 'Mrs Patmore knows that you are my daughter.'

'What?! But how?! Is she going to tell anyone?!' Ella asked as her heart lurched up into her throat.

'Don't go getting yourself all upset Ella, it's perfectly alright.'

'Please don't think that I mind her knowing because I'm ashamed of you, I most certainly am not, but I don't want to risk the world finding out and it causing a scandal; Mama and Papa don't deserve the scrutiny and you don't deserve to have your name dragged through the mud either; so can she keep our secret safe?'

'Of course I don't think you're ashamed of me; heavens above I know you better than that. But, yes she can keep our secret. I think she's known for years to be honest, perhaps not quite the truth that you're my daughter, but she knew that there was something between us long ago. I haven't told her our entire story and she hasn't asked, but she knows who I am to you now.' Elsie explained calmly and feared that the stress of her news may have affected Ella's already fragile blood pressure.

'Oh, I see; so she won't mind making us a few treats then.'

'I'm sure she won't mind in the slightest and I'm sure that your dad won't mind me taking the afternoon off either.' Elsie said as she finally stood. 'I'd better get moving, I need to check on the maids and run an inventory on the linen cupboard, especially if I'm to take tomorrow afternoon off. Can I get you anything to eat?'

'No thank you Mam,' Ella replied, much to her mam's disapproval.

'Right I'll bring you some eggs and toast then.' Elsie replied as she walked out of the bedroom before Ella could object.


	2. Chapter 2

Later that day, as all the staff sat down together for lunch and were chatting noisily to each other, Elsie lent in close to her husband and spoke to him in almost inaudible whispers.

'Ella was wondering if I might be able to take my half day tomorrow afternoon.' She whispered between mouthfuls.

'I'm sure that'll be fine; tomorrow is to be a quiet day. Are you up to date on everything or do you need me to take anything over for you?' He whispered back and Elsie was so grateful to him for being so accommodating to her situation most of the time.

'I should have everything up to date by the end of the day; it's just a shame that you won't be able to join us tomorrow.'

'Is there are particular reason as to why she wants you to take a half day?'

'Well, it'll be one year tomorrow since the day she found out the truth and she wanted to mark it in some small way. It's actually very nice that she wants to celebrate rather than commiserate.' Elsie joked, but she received a small disapproving glare from her husband. He hated how hard on herself she was sometimes.

'Of course she wants to celebrate; she loves you very much and after everything that she's been through lately, she wants to be with her mother.' He said and once again, one of them had made a comment that reiterated Elsie's fears about leaving her daughter behind when they moved out. Charlie realised this as soon as he had said it and soon stopped talking, but he could see that the seed of doubt had already been sewn in Elsie's head, again, and it was rapidly growing. 'I'll go up and see her after lunch; has she had a tray yet?'

'Not yet, but I think Mrs Patmore has made her some soup to take up once we've eaten.'

'Good; I'll take it up to her just now then.' He said as he finished his own soup.

As he stood up, all the other servants stood with him and waited to sit down again until he was out of the room, before continuing with their own lunches. He walked from the servants' hall into the kitchen, where Mrs Patmore was just putting the final touches to Lady Aurelia's tray.

'This is ready to go up Mr Carson; where's Anna or Madge?' She said irritably.

'I'm going to take it up to her Mrs Patmore.' He replied as he took hold of the tray and headed upstairs.

The gallery was completely silent when he went up and he was glad to see it. He was so worried about his daughter that he wanted to make things as easy as possible for her. So when he got to the door, he knocked ever so softly before entering Ella's bedroom slowly, worried of disturbing her in case she was asleep.

'Dad!' She exclaimed with delight when she saw him. Clearly she wasn't asleep.

'I'm sorry that I haven't been up to see you before now, but I couldn't get a moment's peace to spare even a few minutes, more the pity.' He said as he placed the tray on the bed for her and gave her a light kiss on the cheek.

'That's quite alright, you're here now, that's the main thing; although I was beginning to think you might have been avoiding me.' She replied as he sat beside her.

'Of course I'm not avoiding you. I just don't want to overcrowd you with people, that's all. Doctor Clarkson has been very clear about the kind of care that you need my girl and I intend to make sure you stick to it.'

'Oh I do wish you would all stop fussing so much. My baby and I are perfectly fine and healthy and I am not an invalid.' She said with a small sigh, but she wasn't cross and she made sure he knew that by giving him a small smile and patted his hand. She feared that her parents were more likely to overdo things, more than herself. 'So please, Dad, give yourself a break. With the amount of care you and Mam have been giving me, you mustn't have much time for yourselves.' She added with a small laugh, but her face fell when she saw the, albeit fleeting, look of awkwardness in her dad's eyes, as he tried to avoid hers.

'You are just as important as your mother and I spending time together and I am sure that we will have plenty of time for that in the future. But for now, we need to concentrate on you and that grandchild of ours.' He said as he tried to shuffle the conversation onto more comfortable territory, but, like her mother, Ella never could let something go when she knew she was right.

'Dad, is something wrong, between you and Mam I mean?'

'No, there's nothing wrong with us, we are perfectly happy.'

'Are you sure? Perhaps she should spend her half day with you rather than up here with me; it sounds like you're missing her more than you are letting on and I don't want to get between you.' Ella said. She was a lot more perceptive than either he or Elsie had thought.

'I'm sure she wouldn't want that; she wants to spend the afternoon with you, so that you can celebrate your first anniversary as mother and daughter.' He replied, but there was something in his tone, a certain degree of sadness, that Ella noticed and it concerned her. 'I had better be returning downstairs; I believe Mrs Crawley and the Dowager Countess are coming to tea soon with Lady Grantham.' He added as he kissed his daughter on the cheek and left, but he left Ella feeling really worried by his answers.

It was something that troubled her for the rest of the day and even a visit from Sybil couldn't appease her concerns.

'I'm sure that there's nothing wrong Aurie; Charlie and Elsie are so in love with each other that I'm certain that there can't be anything seriously wrong, but we can't expect them to get on all of the time. You can't tell me that you and Henry have never had a disagreement, because I know that Tom and I certainly have; it is the joys of being married.' Sybil said as she tried to offer Ella some words of reassurance.

'I know that Sybbie and I do know that they love each other, very much; I mean, heavens above, it took them twenty five years to admit that they loved each other and I'm most certain that they wouldn't let anything break them apart, but…'

'…but what?'

'But there's just something about the way that they've both been in the last couple of days. I know that they're keeping something from me and I do worry that I might be the cause of it.' Ella explained.

'How could you possibly be the cause of anything Aurie? I don't think you've ever caused an argument in your life!'

'I don't know Sybbie, it's just a feeling, that's all.' Ella replied with a niggling feeling that wouldn't go away, but she could see that Sybil wasn't convinced by her sister's argument, so Ella said nothing further about it. Perhaps she would say something to her mam later on.

But Ella wasn't the only one who was plagued by niggling thoughts, as Elsie was wracked with them. As she carried out her rounds around the house, scolding maids for making too much noise in the gallery, sending letters to the linen suppliers, opening the store cupboard and going through the rooms the family weren't in, to ensure that they were all clean, she could keep nothing else on her mind except the pull she felt towards her daughter.

She had always known that leaving Ella to move into her own cottage with Charlie would be a wrench for her, but the recent events just made that wrench even harder. Of course she really wanted to be alone with Charlie in private, but she'd spent so long watching Ella from afar, that now that she had her there to love and to hold like she'd always dreamed, she wasn't sure that she could give that up. But by holding back on the move, was she jeopardising her marriage, which had taken such a long time to come to fruition in the first place.

She was torn between the two people she loved most in the world, everything in life that she had ever wanted and it caused her so much heartache, she wasn't sure how she could bare it for much longer; but at least she had her afternoon with Ella to look forward to.


	3. Chapter 3

That night, when Henry eventually made it home, exhausted and aching, he was never more delighted to see his wife than he was at that moment. Ella was laid in bed and had barely moved as muscle, as instructed, since he had left her and she was delighted to see him.

'Why are you so late? I was beginning to get really worried about you.' Ella said as her husband as he stood beside her and laced his fingers through hers.

'Not too worried I hope?' He asked with a raised brow. 'We had a patient brought into us with dropsy, just as we were about to leave. But I haven't finished yet; I've still got one more patient to see.'

'Oh Henry, you can't have, you've only just come in.' She said with dismay and watched as he stooped down into his bag and pulled out his stethoscope. 'Oh you mean me!' She smiled and laughed at her own silliness as Henry grinned mischievously at her.

Whilst Henry was checking her blood pressure and listening to her heart, there was a light knock on the door and then it was pushed open by Elsie, with a tray of dinner for her daughter.

'Ah perfect timing Elsie; I was just about to ask her if she'd eaten yet.' Henry said as he pulled the cuff from Ella's arm and removed the stethoscope from around his neck.

'Well I've learnt not to ask her anymore; I now just appear with something and make her eat it.' Elsie replied with a laugh as she placed the tray on Ella's knee. 'And how is our patient?'

'She's doing well. You're obviously doing a good job of looking after her when I'm out, as her blood pressure is a lot lower. In fact, it's almost back to what it should be...but before you get excited Aurelia Crawley Forbes, this does not mean that you can start over exerting yourself again.' He replied and interrupted Ella before she could get excited.

'Spoilsport!' Ella replied jokingly. She didn't mind really, but she would be glad to be able to get out of bed more often.

'Right, I'm going to go downstairs and make myself something to eat. I shan't be long.' He said as he rolled down his shirtsleeves and put his jacket on over his waistcoat again.

'Oh there's no need for that Henry. Mrs Patmore and Daisy are still downstairs and I can bring it up to you.' Elsie said.

'No thank you Elsie, that's quite alright. Much like my wife, I'm not keen on having people waiting on me, but unlike her, I'm able to get up and do something about it.' Henry replied with a wink and a smile at Ella, who playfully huffed in dismay.

He left the two women alone to spend some time together whilst Ella had her dinner and Elsie sat on the chair beside the bed, her usual spot. Her actions now came so natural to her, but when she thought back to how they were with each other only a year earlier…well they were barely recognisable.

 _'Good morning Mrs Hughes, I hope you are well?' Ella would ask._

 _'I am very well, thank you Milady.' Elsie would reply politely as she opened the thick, red bedroom curtains and allowing light to flood into the room._

 _'It looks like it's going to be another glorious day.' Ella would comment with utter glee._

Ella would always make conversation with the staff, she treated everyone with kindness and respect, always made sure of their welfare and never looked down on anyone. She was very unique that way.

Elsie's favourite time of the day, before Ella learned who she really was, was at night time, when she would go to Ella's room to help her dress for bed. She would spend ages, gently unpinning Ella's hair and gently caressing her long honey locks with the brush.

'Mam, are you quite alright?' Ella asked, which brought Elsie round from her thoughts. Clearly her daughter had tried a couple of times to get her attention.

'Yes, of course I'm alright. I was just thinking about how different things were between us this time last year.' Elsie sighed and Ella wasn't sure if it was a contented sigh or a painful one and Elsie saw the look of concern on her daughter's face. 'Honestly, I'm absolutely fine.'

'Well, as long you are quite sure.' Ella said as she placed her empty tray onto the bed beside her.

'There is one thing that I do miss about the old days though.' Elsie replied as she stood from the seat and walked towards Ella's dressing table.

'Oh yes and what is that?' Ella asked with a furrowed brow, surprised that there could be anything about the old days that her mam would miss.

'This,' Elsie said as she picked up Ella's hairbrush and showed it to her, which brought a large smile to Ella's face. 'I miss brushing your hair.' She added as Ella shuffled forward slightly in her bed and allowed Elsie to sit behind her.

Elsie gently pulled the ribbon from the bottom of the plait that Ella had braided her hair into and then carefully ran her fingers through it. She teased the hair apart before pulling the brush through it, stroke after stroke and she enjoyed the calming sensation it had on them both. Ella closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of her scalp being massaged and it reminded her of her days with the housekeeper, for all those years before she knew the truth. It was a bittersweet memory.

'What are you thinking about back there? You're very quiet.' Ella said sleepily and without opening her eyes, but if she had have opened them, she would have seen Elsie smiling broadly, with tears in her eyes.

'Oh I'm just thinking about how often I have done this for you and how I love doing it. Your hair has grown so long since I last brushed it for you.' She replied. 'Do you remember the time, shortly after I became housekeeper, you came running down the stairs to me in my sitting room, crying your little heart out, because your governess didn't brush your hair the way you liked it. You must have only been about four at the time. It broke my heart to see you cry like that, but it was mended by the fact that it was me you came looking for.'

'I think I vaguely remember that. And of course it was you I came looking for. You were always so kind to Sybbie and me, well of course, you were, you're my mam, but you know what I mean. No one ever quite looked after us the way you did and we used to miss you, even though you were only downstairs.'

'I used to miss you both too, dreadfully, I hated to be separated from you.' Elsie replied and then that pang of pain and guilt hit her again as she thought about the cottage and about her next separation from her daughter and she suddenly went very quiet.

'Mam are you alright? I haven't upset you have I? I am sorry.' Ella said as she turned round to face her tearful mam and she embraced her tenderly.

'Oh Ella, I know that every mother has to let their children go at some point, but I feel that I'm doing it all in reverse. I let you go when you were just a tiny baby and now I've got you back, but I can't bear the thought of letting you go again.' Elsie sobbed and her words confused Ella.

'What do you mean Mam? You don't have to let me go, I'm not exactly going anywhere.' Ella said as she tried to comfort her mam and not get upset herself. It pained her to see her mam in pain and to know that, usually, she was the cause of it.

Once she was a lot calmer, Elsie felt able to explain to her daughter the truth about what had been troubling her for weeks.

'You might not be going anywhere, but your dad and I will be moving to the cottage soon, well, that's what he wants anyway.'

'And you don't? But I thought you were looking forward to having your own place together, our own little sanctuary away from this place, where we could make our own memories and truly be able to be together as a family.' Ella said as she held on tightly to Elsie's hand.

'I know and I do want all of that. But I never thought about exactly how difficult it would be for me to leave you. I know it's only a short distance away and I realise that I will still see you every day, but…well, gosh, I don't even know how to describe this. For the twenty four years you were on this earth, not knowing the truth about me being your mother, that separation pained me every day, but what got me through it, was the thought that you were only in the next room or up the stairs or in the garden. You were only ever just a minute away from me…does any of that make any sense? Perhaps I will only ever be the one to understand it.' Elsie said as she struggled to understand her own feelings, let alone to try to make someone else understand them.

'I do understand them, more than you will know. I might not have always known that you were my mother, but it didn't mean that I missed you any less when we were apart. Do you remember, when Sybbie and I were sent to boarding school, we only lasted a few days because we missed home; it wasn't even the fact that I missed Mama and Papa or Mary and Edith that made me miss home the most, but it was because I missed you and Dad too for that matter. Whenever I needed a boost of confidence or help with anything, my parents would give me that stiff upper lip and tell me that I needed to work things out for myself or that I needed to get on with things; they weren't unkind to me, of course they weren't, they love me unconditionally and I do know that. But it was always you and Dad that we came to, because we would always get the best advice and when the governess was getting cross with me because I was struggling to read and write, you were the one who dried my tears, took the nearest children's book and helped me to learn. And when Sybil and I went off to study nursing during the war, I watched Mama as she cried outside the front of the house as we drove off, but I did see you, standing at the window and watching us too and I thought about how much I would miss you both. That was all, long, before I knew that you were my mother.' Ella explained calmly, but with a quivering voice and Elsie was so touched. 'But Dad makes you so very happy and it's time that you stopped living your life around me and started to live your own life with me and I don't think we're ever going to get that with the way we are living now.'

'So you wouldn't mind if your dad and I moved into the cottage soon?' Elsie asked quietly.

'No, I wouldn't mind, because I would come to you every day and we could still have our time together here. I would expect you to take more time off than you do when you are here, so that we can spend some proper time together and create a life that is entirely ours, especially when the baby arrives. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, for either of us. But, we could start my taking baby steps. Perhaps you only need to stay at the house a couple of days a week to begin with, so that we can get used to being apart. What do you think?'

Elsie thought about it for a few moments and she couldn't believe that she hadn't thought of that herself, of easing herself into domestic life gently and easing her pain from being separated from her daughter. Now she wished that she had spoken to Ella before about all of this; perhaps the pain of knowing that she had been separated from her mother, had had an effect on Ella after all and maybe she was the only one who truly did know how Elsie felt.


	4. Chapter 4

When Henry returned, Elsie was still sat on the bed with her daughter, but the mood between them was much lighter than it had been in his absence, as if a great weight had been lifted from them. Elsie did still feel a little heavy hearted and particularly nervous about the prospect of leaving; but she knew now what she needed to do.

'I shall leave you to rest my girl; you might be on the mend, but that doesn't mean you don't need your rest.' Elsie said. 'Goodnight.' She added as she kissed her daughter.

'Goodnight Mam; I hope you sleep well.' Ella whispered as she kissed her mam back.

'Elsie,' Henry added as he nodded his head at his mother-in-law in form of goodnight.

Once they were alone, Henry began to undress, feeling absolutely exhausted and looking forward to getting into bed and to spending some time with his beautiful wife. He kept glancing at her and smiling, which made her smile back with confusion.

'What are you smirking at Doctor Forbes?' She asked after a while.

'Am I not allowed to look at my wife and smile? You would think me awful if I looked at you with a frown.' He replied happily.

'Well that's true, but you seem especially jovial tonight; what is it that has got you in such a good mood?'

'I had a meeting with Doctor Clarkson today and he gave me some really good news.' Henry began to explain as he climbed into bed next to Ella and waited until she had shuffled herself into his embrace before he continued. 'He's been petitioning for more funds for the hospital for some time now, since the war, to create an out patients clinic and to expand the hospital. He's also very pleased with the work that I've been doing and he wants to involve me more in the running of the hospital. He has yet to speak to the Chairwoman of the Board, but since that is Isobel, I don't see that as a problem, but he wants me to invest in the hospital and effectively become a partner.' He explained with excited delight, which was reciprocated by his wife.

'Henry that's fantastic news! Oh I am so thrilled for you!' She said with genuine joy as she hugged him and then kissed him soundly.

'It is my love, it really is. It's brought me back to the reasons I became a doctor in the first place; to look at new treatments and to further people's health. Things aren't like they were before the war, more people are taking an interest in their health and their welfare and I know, that with the right equipment and technology, there's so much more good I can do.' He enthused, much to Ella's amusement. It delighted her to see her husband so ecstatically happy.

'And I know that you will do a great deal of good.' She said as she kissed him again.

Elsewhere, Elsie ventured downstairs into the servants' hall and found Charlie in his pantry, cleaning the silver, something he did quite often when he was irritated or worked up and she knew that it was her, on this occasion, who had upset him.

'Might I come in?' She asked tentatively as she knocked on his open door.

'Since when have you needed my permission?'

'Since I've hurt you; I know now that it is never going to be easy for me to be separated from my daughter…'

'…but you don't need to be. I have been a fool to think that you could be and selfish to have tried to make you leave her. However, I hope you won't tell me that we can't find our happiness together after all…'

'Charlie, do you really think I have come to tell you that we're over before we've really begun? You silly, sweet man. I do love you, I do want to be with you and I do want us to move into our cottage together.' Elsie said with a watery smile and her words surprised her husband.

'You don't mean that and I can't ask it of you when I know how much it will hurt you to be separated from her.' He replied as he took a hold of her hand.

'But I do mean it; like I said, it is never going to be easy for me to be separated from her. However, I know that I will always have your love and support to help me in my times of doubt and I know that I have her support too, so that when I am yearning for her, she will always be with me in a heartbeat.'

'Are you sure about this?'

'Yes and no, but that's what makes Ella's suggestion so perfect. How would you feel about spending a couple of nights a week at our cottage, so that I can get used to it?' She asked.

'Would that make you happy?' He replied as he placed his hands on her shoulders and looked lovingly into her blue eyes, which were filled with such pain and yet so much hope.

'Yes, I think it would make me very happy.'

'I will do whatever you want, I hope you always know that and I will let you decide when we go and when we stay.' He whispered as he embraced her.

'Is it too late to walk down tonight?' She whispered back and he felt a little startled at the prospect of their leaving so soon.

'We don't have to do it tonight if you don't feel comfortable.'

'But we must, otherwise I will find an excuse not to and another and probably another one after that. I need to take the plunge.' She replied as she held tightly onto him.

They stood together for a short while, with Elsie wrapped tightly in Charlie's embrace, until he finally grabbed her coat from the hook in her sitting room. She tied her scarf around her neck, pulled on her gloves and nervously shivered into her coat. Her heart was thumping as she prepared herself to leave her daughter, but she kept the conversation going in her head, that it was just for one night, they were only a couple of miles down the road and that she would see her child again in the morning.

As she had the conversation with herself in her head, she suddenly felt her husband's hand clasping hers, offering her comfort and support and helping her to feel steady as she took those first few steps towards the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Elsie sat on their sofa and enjoyed watching Charlie as he placed a few more logs onto the roaring fire that he had going, which cast a warm glow around their sitting room. He had even made her tea, the first thing that he had done on their arrival at their new home, which she was no sipping lightly on and taking comfort from its warmth.

Compared to how the cottage looked the last time they stayed in it, it looked a lot more homely, with items of furniture that they had chosen and bought together; although some of the items were gifts from Ella. She had bought them the most beautiful welsh dresser, which now took pride of place in their sitting room.

As she sat on her sofa, in her own sitting room, in their own home, Elsie now felt a little more relaxed than she had when they were still at the Abbey, but she still couldn't quite shift all of her unease.

'Are you quite alright Elsie? I won't hold it against you if you are struggling.' Charlie asked kindly and with such warmth and sincerity, that Elsie really did feel better; she knew that she truly did have him on her side.

'Right at this moment I'm not sure how I feel; it's lovely to be alone together like this, which is something that I've never truly appreciated before now, as we certainly don't get enough of this at the house. However, it does feel strange without my Ella. I feel as if someone has chopped off one of my limbs.' She explained, but she didn't sound upset. Although her voice sounded a little shaky, she did manage to remain strong.

After placing a few more logs on the fire, Charlie joined his wife on the sofa, wrapped one arm around her shoulders and pulled her in close to him. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, listening to the cracks and crackles of the fire, mesmerised by the flames as they danced in the hearth. Eventually though, Elsie was stirred from her trance when Charlie spoke softly to her.

'What do you suppose it will be, our first grandchild, a boy or a girl?' He asked her with an amused tone.

'Our first grandchild? So you think Ella and Henry will have more than one child?' Elsie replied as she joined her husband in his ponderings.

'I have no doubt in my mind that we'll soon be surrounded by our own nursery of them. I think they'll have five; three girls and two boys, one of them will be the eldest.' He said and was delighted that his story telling and predictions was helping to bring back that familiar twinkle in his wife's eyes.

'Five children? My, my, that will be a handful.' She laughed.

'They are certainly that. We're always going to be telling the boys off for playing football near my greenhouse. I keep trying to teach them cricket, but they're not interested. The middle girl though, she's interested; she's interested in everything a young girl shouldn't be. She's a tom-boy, much like her mother. The eldest girl is very bright, she's going to be a doctor like her father, she's the one who's most like him and she's quite a daddy's girl; but it's the youngest one that I have a real soft spot for. She's small for her age and looks fragile, but she's feisty, like her grandmother. I've seen her stand up to her older brothers. She enjoys coming to us for sleepovers and sits patiently in the kitchen whilst you bake, waiting to lick the spoon.' Charlie said as he allowed himself to get completely lost in his world.

'So you've not given this any thought then.' Elsie replied with a laugh as she enjoyed the scenes playing in her head. 'Do you really think Ella would let the child stay with us sometimes?'

'I don't see why she wouldn't. She's a resilient girl, so she will find a way to make that happen.' Charlie said as he stifled a yawn.

'I believe you are right and as much as I would love to sit here fantasising all night, I think it's time that we headed up to bed, don't you?' She replied reluctantly.

They turned off all of the lights and made their way to their bedroom. They undressed in a sleepy silence before climbing into bed. They shuffled for a few moments until they became comfortable in each other's arms. Elsie was just drifting off to sleep when Charlie interrupted her.

'You know that I'm here for you during the night, if you feel that you are missing Ella, I'm here for you.' He whispered tenderly in her ear.

'I know you are and I know that you always will be and I love you all the more for it.' She replied as she gave his forearm, which was wrapped around her waist, a gentle squeeze.

After saying goodnight, they drifted off to sleep, which Elsie struggled to do at first, as she thought about where Ella was, so far away from her in that moment; but the lovely thoughts of the dreams that Charlie had filled her head with that night, played happily in her mind and she finally allowed herself to let go and imagine how different her life was going to be.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day Charlie and Elsie walked back to the Abbey together. It was a lovely, fresh morning, which made their walk to work all the more pleasurable and certainly blew away their cobwebs. They walked slowly, each in step with the other, with Elsie's arm linked through Charlie's.

Although it had been lovely for Elsie to wake in her new cottage and next to her husband, she couldn't deny that she was looking forward to getting back to the big house, to see her daughter. She was yearning for her daughter's company, except she felt rather silly for doing so; they'd only been separated for one night and she wished that she didn't feel so torn and she prayed that it would get easier in time.

When they arrived downstairs, the kitchens were busy and the staff were running around as normal. Neither Charlie nor Elsie were going to get the opportunity to visit Ella before the afternoon; as much as she wanted to spend every second with her daughter after their night apart, she knew that she had to get her own work finished first, before she could spend the afternoon with her.

'I'll make sure no one disturbs you so that you can complete it all before this afternoon. I thought I might join you both later, if you don't mind that is?' Charlie asked once they were in the sanctuary of her sitting room.

'Thank you, that is appreciated; I'm rather looking forward to this afternoon and of course you would be welcome to join us. You don't need to ask to spend time with our daughter and I know that she would appreciate it as much as I would.' She replied with a smile, just as a knock came to her door, cutting their conversation short, but it was only Mrs Patmore, a friend and ally in their secret.

'Lady Aurelia has asked me to make up some sandwiches and cakes for you both this afternoon; I was just wondering if there was anything in particular that you might like?' She asked kindly.

'Oh that is thoughtful of you Mrs Patmore; nothing too fancy mind, some simple egg, cheese and ham sandwiches would be ideal and if you are able to make those truffles I would be very grateful. Those seem to be Ella's favourites.' Elsie replied with a smile.

'I can do that for you both; I've also put a sponge in the oven for you.' Mrs Patmore replied.

The cook and butler then left the housekeeper to her work, which she reluctantly started to do. All she really wanted was to go and see her daughter and to hold her tight and she cursed herself for feeling so silly, until finally, at half past one, she took the tray of sandwiches, tea and cakes up to Ella's room. Ella was finally out of bed and was sitting by the fire, dressed in a simple skirt and shirt. She was delighted to be up and about more, but she knew that Elsie wouldn't let her do much.

'Should you be out if bed young lady?' Elsie said as she placed the tray onto Ella's desk.

'Yes I can be out of bed. As long as I am resting then Henry doesn't mind where I do it. I was a little sick this morning, which I haven't felt for a few weeks, but he reassured me that it was perfectly normal and that everything was still alright. He was quite excited this morning actually, because I shall be starting to show soon, although I feel as if I'm starting to show already. It took me a few attempts this morning to find some clothing that fit me properly.' Ella laughed as she warmed herself by the fire whilst Elsie poured the tea.

'You will need some new dresses soon; perhaps yourself and Sybil can go to Ripon or York together to buy some, but only if Henry says that you can venture out mind.' Elsie said with delight at being able to mother her daughter.

'Perhaps you might like to come with us?' Ella suggested with a smile as she took one of the cups of tea from her mam's hands.

'Perhaps I shall.' Elsie replied with delight. 'Your dad and I spent the night at the cottage last night.' She added casually, but without looking at her daughter.

'Oh that is really lovely to hear mam. I know that you were anxious about it, but I do hope everything was lovely for you, well for both of you.' Ella said with genuine excitement.

'It was hard, I won't deny it and I'm not sure it is something that I will be able to do again for a few days at least, but I don't know why I find it so difficult. I knew I was going to see you today, so I knew that we would only be separated for a while, but it was still hard.'

'Well I was thinking about you last night and I wondered why myself. I think that, subconsciously, you feel that it's an element of control that is being taken away from you. Heaven knows that you have had very little control over any of this situation, but one of the things that you controlled, even if it was only slightly, was when you saw me. From when I was very little up until last year, you could always feign some excuse to talk to me and to see me whenever you wished; but with us separated you don't have that same control and I think, in part, it makes you nervous.' Ella explained quietly and Elsie nodded her head slightly.

'You could be right.' Elsie whispered tearfully, which made Ella quickly change the subject as she didn't want any tears. She wanted to celebrate her being with her mam today and not to think of all the awfulness.

'Anyway Mam, I have some news for you that may make our situation much better and may make you feel more comfortable about being in your cottage.' She started and smiled broadly at the thought. 'Doctor Clarkson has asked Henry to make an investment into the hospital and wants him to take a more active role in its running. He's intending to make all sorts of expansions, which means that Henry is to be much busier. We were talking about it last night and it turns out that he had been considering it for some time, but he wants us to move into the village. He needs to be closer to the clinic, which he struggles with out here in the Abbey and I think he also wants us to be able to start our own lives together.' She explained calmly.

'You mean that you would be willing to leave Downton Abbey Ella? Your home, your parents and your sisters?' Elsie asked with surprise at Ella's suggestion.

'We would only be moving to the village, well, just outside of it actually. We have a cottage in mind that has a little land to it for our children and it's still very close to here. Of course I would still come up every day to see Mama and Papa and to be with Sybbie, but the best part of all is that the cottage is at the bottom of Muses Lane, which is literally a stone throw away from your cottage. In fact, from that house you can see the roof of your cottage. We would be able to visit each other openly, since there is no one else for miles, but we're much closer to the village for Henry to have much easier access to his patients.' Ella explained with delight.

She would finally get to be Mrs Forbes, without being waited on hand and foot without servants to do things for her or other people's expectations of how she should behave. But the best thing was that she could be with her Mam and her son or daughter would be able to run between their home and their grandparents, without Ella fearing that she had to keep it a secret, skulking around like a thief in the night. They could all be a family together and it was such a lovely thought.

Elsie was stunned. A year ago she could never have imagined that any of this would have happened to her; that her daughter had cleverly come up with a way for them to be together, openly and without secret or scandal, or, in fact, that she would be with her daughter at all and the lovely thoughts brought tears to her eyes and streaming down her cheeks.


	7. Chapter 7

Ella and Elsie sat together for the whole afternoon enjoying each other's company and talking about how different their lives were from a year ago. As Ella poured them some more tea, Elsie watched her and felt her pride swell up inside her. Even after all this time, she felt that she still had to convince herself that it was all real and she still couldn't bring herself to believe Ella's revelation.

'You do realise that it will be a very different life for you and you will need to discuss it with your parents; I'm not certain how happy they will be to hear your news.' She said as Ella passed her a fresh cup.

'Of course I realise that my life is to be very different, but that's what I want. Please don't think I am ungrateful for the life that I have had because I'm not. I love Mama and Papa very much and I don't want to hurt them, I don't ever want to hurt anyone, and I do realise that the only reason that I have had the life that I have had is because of your sacrifice. I don't want you to think I am ungrateful either; but do you really see me as Lady of the great house?' Ella asked.

'No, I don't; I don't think I ever did and it's not because you are my daughter either, but it is because I know that it is something that has never come easily to you. You have always rebelled against the system in your own way and you have caused a few raised eyebrows over the years.' Elsie replied with an amused smile.

'I have that; usually Papa's and Granny's and Dad's too for that matter.' Ella said with a giggle. 'I do want my baby to be born here, in the house I mean. See…never mind…' She began to say, but stopped herself from continuing out of fear of hurting her mam.

'Please, go on Ella; what is it that you want to say?'

'Well, it's just that…I do love this house, it's my home and my memories, but ever since I found out the truth, it's sort of been tainted for me, tarnished by what had happened here and I want us to build a new life together that isn't tainted. And I know I've said it before, but I think our lives are very restricted here, where all I can see us ever doing is this, stealing a few moments together here and there to talk and share tea; I'm not complaining about it, I honestly love our time together, but I want more for us. I want more from my child too.' Ella explained calmly, hoping that she was making herself clear, without sounding like she was being ungrateful to the gift that both her families gave her.

'Well if you are certain that it is what you want, then you know that you have my full support. I won't deny that it will be nice to be able to spend time with you without fear of being caught out, but you may find that your parents are less approving.' Elsie replied with a smile.

'True enough, but I do understand why. I do love them dearly, but it is time that I made a life for myself.' Ella said with a furrowed brow. 'I'm sorry Mam, it's rather callous of me to talk about loving my parents in front of you; you must find it hard, to hear things like that.' She added as she cursed herself for her stupidity.

'Perhaps it's rather callous of me to say that it doesn't affect me the way that you might think.' Elsie replied with a small loving smile. 'You don't need to apologise to me for telling me that you love your parents, when it pleases me to hear it. I was so worried, this time last year that our secret might have cost them their relationship with you and I never wanted that. So to hear how much you love them, it is a blessing to hear.'

'And I hope that you know how much I love you too. It's strange to think that you've only been my mam for a year…well, obviously you've been my mam my whole life, but you know what I mean, I hope.' Ella said with a laugh, which was reciprocated by Elsie.

'I do know what you mean and I do hope you know how much I love and adore you Ella, perhaps it's more than you will ever know.' Elsie replied with a watery smile.

'Oh Mam, I know how much you love me; for you to have made the sacrifices that you have done, you must love me immensely. With the prospect of becoming a mother myself now, I realise just how much you must love someone to do what you did.' Ella replied as she also became a little teary.

This was certainly not exactly how Ella had planned their afternoon, but she was glad that they were both able to discuss things and get thoughts that had been lingering in her mind for months off her chest.

'Mam, had it not been for me, had your situation been different, would you have stayed in service?'

'I'm not sure Ella and it's not something that I have often dwelled on if I'm honest.' Elsie replied, but it wasn't said harshly.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…'

'Don't be silly; you have as much right to ask anything you like. A year ago we sat here and I told you that you could ask me anything you liked and I meant it. I want you to feel that you can come to me with any question you want. I try not to think about the ifs and buts of life, but I do sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I'd chosen another path, gone a different way and worked in a factory or a shop; but had I done that, I wouldn't have had you and despite what happened, I wouldn't change having you for the world Ella.' Elsie explained proudly.

They sat and talked for a long time until Charlie came into them. He didn't have long but he could spare fifteen minutes to be with his wife and daughter and when Ella shared her news with him, he was both excited and unnerved by the prospect.

'But suppose the village start talking about you moving out! Suppose they see you visiting us or us visiting you!' He said calmly but with his brows creased.

'Suppose a bomb goes off, suppose there's another war, suppose we're hit by a falling star!' Elsie replied which made Ella giggle. 'We'll be far enough out of the way that no one should see us and if they do, I can tell them that I go in to help Lady Aurelia; they don't need to know that I'm going in to see my daughter do they?'

'Perhaps you are right, but I'm still not entirely comfortable with the idea and you have Lord and Lady Grantham to persuade.' He said.

'You let me worry about them. I know they won't be too chuffed with the idea, but I'll bring them round.' Ella said with a lot more conviction and confidence than she felt.


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of their afternoon was spent talking about their future, after Charlie had returned downstairs, as Elsie and Ella talked about the baby and about family life. Ella was so very excited about becoming a mother and Elsie was delighted to become a grandmother. It was the perfect way for them to spend their afternoon and evening together.

'I'll have to get my needles out and start knitting the baby some clothes,' Elsie said casually but Ella looked delighted.

'I didn't realise that you could knit Mam,' she said with surprise.

'I always have done; my mother and grandmother taught me. They used to make many of our clothes as children. My father kept sheep for the wool and my mother was very skilled at spinning and used to make lovely yarn, which she would then turn into the most stunning cardigans, jumpers and shawls too,' Elsie explained fondly. 'I remember when I first started to learn how to knit and sew, I was very little at the time, perhaps six or seven years old, but my grandmother decided that it was time I learned, so she sat me down every day and taught me various types of stitches. We knitted a square a day until we had enough to make a patchwork blanket.'

'That isn't the blanket that's on your bed is it?'

'The very same one; so that blanket is twice your age,' Elsie laughed, 'it's a little frayed and I've had to darn it in a couple of places, but it's still in very good condition.'

Ella smiled; she loved learning more about her extended family and about the life that she might have led, had Robert and Cora not taken her on as their own. Her mam had described to her in detail about the farmhouse in which she had grown up, out in the middle of the countryside, several miles away from the nearest town or village in Argyll.

'Were you close to your grandmother?' She asked.

'Well she was very old fashioned and believed that children should be seen and not heard; but she mellowed a bit in her later years, when she moved in with us, although I think she sometimes found Becky very hard to deal with. She didn't understand her; Becky couldn't or wouldn't speak until she was nearly five or she would start screaming at the top of her voice, for no apparent reason. Other times she would just sit at the window and stare into the middle distance,' Elsie explained with sadness. It was very clear that she felt a great deal of love for her younger sister.

'Do you miss her? Working away from her all the time, it must be hard,' Ella said sadly.

'Och I'm used to being away from my family; I practically left home when I was twelve, to start as a scullery maid in one of the big houses, before I then moved on and became a house maid in another house,' Elsie explained with a hint of sadness, but there was also a fond warmth to her tone. 'Anyway, you're my family, you and your dad and soon your wee one too. Actually, your dad and I were talking about him or her last night and any future grandchildren we may have,' she explained with a smile and a small laugh.

'Oh were you now?' Ella replied playfully.

'We were indeed and it just made me even more excited for its arrival; your dad even suggested that, when it's a little older, you might let them stay with us over night, in the cottage.'

'I can guarantee, that when my baby is born, you will not be able to keep them away from your door; they'll have you both wrapped around their little finger,'

'Certainly they will, just as it should be,' Elsie smiled with glee and she really did mean it. She couldn't wait to hold her grandchild in her arms and to know that she wasn't going be keeping any secrets from this little one.

They chatted happily for the rest of the afternoon until late evening, when Henry returned home from the hospital. Elsie then left them alone, so that they could spend time together. Ella was looking much brighter than Henry had seen her in a long time; more relaxed and more at peace, which was having a more positive influence on her blood pressure.

'Obviously your afternoon with Elsie has done you wonders; your blood pressure is only just a fraction above what it should be,' he said as he sat beside her on the bed and wrapped his arms around her.

'We had such a lovely afternoon together; she's promised to teach me how to knit, which will be an interesting education for our relationship,' Ella replied with a giggle.

'Were you never taught how to knit Ella? I thought it was something that all women were taught,' Henry said, which received a small glare from his wife, which was only lightened by the smirk playing on her lips.

'Very droll Doctor Forbes, very droll; our governess did try to teach me, but she used to get very frustrated with me because I just couldn't grasp it. Mam thinks it may be because I am left handed, so she's decided to take up the challenge and is determined to have me knitting before the baby is born. Actually, she wants us to make a blanket, the same as the one she made with her grandmother,' Ella explained and it delighted Henry to hear how close his wife was becoming to her natural mother. 'I also told her about our plans to move into the village and she's really supportive of the idea.'

'Well it just seems to make a lot more sense; I want my patients to have easy access to me and find me approachable, which I don't feel they find when I'm stuck up here,' he justified, which received no objections from Ella.

'I couldn't agree more darling and it will be so wonderful to have our own little place. It'll need some renovating though and decorating, but we can take our time with all of that, can't we?'

'Well, I can do all of that, you will still be resting,' Henry replied with playful sternness.

'But you just said that my blood pressure is back to normal!' Ella said with frustration.

'No, what I said was that your blood pressure is a fraction above what it should be; you still need to get plenty of rest. Besides, you should enjoy it whilst you can, you won't get much of a chance when the baby arrives,' he smiled.

'I can't wait,' she whispered as she kissed him happily, as they soon drifted off to sleep, content with their lives and with their futures.

The next morning they agreed to tell Robert and Cora of their plans, which Ella knew wouldn't go down too well with them, but realised that it would be a lot easier on them all if they had time to get used to the idea, before they actually moved out.

They sat them in the drawing room and had tea served to them shortly after breakfast. Ella felt nervous, thought she may have been better telling her mama first. In a way, she felt like she was betraying them and throwing their gift back into their faces, but she hoped that they didn't feel like that.

'Is everything alright Ella?' Cora whispered to her daughter sat next to her, tightly clasping her hands whilst Robert and Henry chatted on the other side of the room.

'Everything is fine Mama, it's just…well perhaps I should tell you before we break it to Papa, but I fear you will both be very disappointed in me when I do,' Ella replied nervously.

'Now you must tell me,' Cora said with worry, her stomach clenched in fear.

'Well it's good news, in a way, well for Henry and me at least. Doctor Clarkson wants Henry to take a more active role in the running of the hospital, which will mean more responsibility for him and they both want to expand on the services that we already offer,'

'Well that's wonderful news darling,' Cora replied with a smile, as she glanced over to the two men, who were oblivious to their respective wives' conversation.

'Yes it is rather and he is ever so happy; but he feels that, if he is to take on such an important role in the hospital and in the community, that he should be a part of that community, which he doesn't feel he is here at the house. He feels that his patients don't have the same access to him or find him as approachable, as they would do if we lived in the village,' she explained and was relieved that Cora didn't look angry, but she did look very saddened.

'So you and Henry are planning to move out and into the village?' She asked tearfully.

'That's right Mama; we thought we would move into the cottage in Muses Lane, so that it's still close to the house, but it's just outside the village. I would still come up to the house every day and you would be more than welcome to come and visit,' Ella said, with tears starting to form in her own eyes.

'Is this what you really want?'

'Yes it is, but I want to make everyone happy, including you and Papa; I know you must feel very betrayed though, after everything that you have done for me and now I'm planning to leave…'

'Ella, my baby, everything that your father and I have done for you has come from love, not out of duty. We want you to be happy,' Cora said tearfully but with a smile as Ella also smiled back, just as Henry and Robert approached them.

'Henry's just given me his news about the hospital; it will a mean a lot of positive changes for the village,' Robert said with a happy smile, which was soon to change when Ella gave him the other half of their news.

'It will indeed bring a lot of changes to the village Papa, but also to us,' she explained slowly as she braced herself for what she knew was about to come. 'Henry and I have decided to make some changes ourselves Papa; but I fear you will not approve,' she continued cautiously and watched as Robert's face fell and became very stern.

'Well then, I better hear them anyway, hadn't I?'

Henry moved a little closer to his wife and placed his hand on her shoulder for comfort and for support. He knew that Robert would find Ella leaving the family home a real wrench, he did understand that they had all been through a lot together; but it was no their turn to make new memories and a new life for themselves and their family.

'Henry and I have been talking about our future and what this change means for him, well, for the both of us. We feel that a community doctor needs to be seen by his community and to do that, he needs to be living in his community, which Henry can't do living here Papa; so we've made the decision, to move into the village, into the cottage on Muses Lane,' she explained, but she'd barely finished her explanation before Robert blew his top.

'Absolutely not! You are a Lady Ella, you cannot move into the village just like that!' He shouted, causing Cora to sigh and close her eyes in disbelief.

'And why not Papa? Both Granny and Cousin Isobel live in the village and they are very respected!' She replied with a raised, defensive voice. 'The cottage on Muse Lane is perfect for us and for our child. We can still come here every day, anyone who wishes to visit us can do and Henry can be more accessible to the village and to his patients!'

'After everything we have done for you Ella, everything, you throw it back at us by wanting to MOVE OUT!' He fumed at Cora decided that it was time she stepped in.

'Robert that's enough! This isn't about Ella and our past, in fact, I don't think it has anything to do with us at all; Henry and Ella want to make a respectable life for themselves, that doesn't involve them living here, at the house. However, it is like Ella said; they would just be a mile or so from here, so we can all still see each other as often as we choose, but we have to respect their wishes,' Cora said calmly.

'Papa, I love and adore you for what you have done for me; you and Mama mean more than the world to me, but Downton Abbey is no longer where I am meant to be. I am meant to be with Henry, at his side as his wife and mother to his children, which means that I have to do what is best for us. I do not wish to hurt you or cause you upset and being separated from you and from home will be heart breaking, but I will only be down the road,' Ella explained tearfully. 'I do want my baby, your grandchild, to be born here, at the house and do want us to be welcome here, as you will be in my home.'

Robert sighed angrily, he could see that he was beaten and the indignant look from his wife told him, that it would not be worth the bashing he would get from her of he continued down this line. Regardless though, he was not happy or impressed by his daughter's actions.

'Might I suggest we continue this discussion later? I fear that any further stress placed on Ella at this time could harm her and the baby,' Henry said after a few moments, with authoritive concern. 'I think Ella, you should rest for a while; you look exhausted,' he added.

On this occasion, Ella didn't need telling twice; she was exhausted and she didn't want to wage war with her father. She did love and adore him and she didn't want to hurt him or fight with him, so she knew, that the best thing she could do, was leave him to Cora. She was very feisty when the mood took her and Ella could tell from the looks she was giving him, that Cora intended to have it out with him for the way he'd behaved; but Ella felt guilty, as she thought that, perhaps, Cora wouldn't be quite as understanding if she knew one of the other reasons for influencing Ella's decision.


	9. Chapter 9

'Papa can be so insufferable sometimes!' Ella fumed once she and Henry were alone in their room once again. 'Why is it, that when any of us want to do anything for ourselves, we always have to do battle first? Well, all of us except Mary,' she explained bitterly, her hormones very much getting the better of her.

Henry had long given up trying to interrupt her rantings and sat silently as he watched her pace up and down. He hoped she would get it out of her system soon, as she was looking exhausted and he was worried about what the stress was doing to her blood pressure.

'I know what they did for me. By raising me as their own they allowed me the opportunity to be with my birth mother, to have her as part of my life with neither of us facing any shame; I do understand all of that, but I was never destined to be some great Lady over a big house. Mary was always raised to be that, Edith too, but Sybbie and I always wanted our own lives, very different from this one. Why is it that Papa cannot see that?!' She fumed.

'Ella, my darling, please come and sit down for a while; I'm getting a sore neck from just looking at you pacing,' Henry said at long last, making Ella stop in mid step.

'You're right, I'm sorry,' she said as she placed herself on his knee and ran her fingers through his hair, placing a couple of very gentle kisses to his lips. 'I just feel so frustrated sometimes. I've changed so much in the last year and so much has happened to me that I have to remind myself that this is who I really am. I want us to have such a wonderful life together, with our children and I want to have a different life with Mam and Dad. I'm tired of hiding all the time and stealing a few minutes here and there.'

'I know darling, I think Robert understands that too, but you're his child and he loves you, very much. He does want you to be happy, but I think he still wants to protect you from the world; after everything that you have been through when you came into this world, your childhood and then after everything you discovered in the last year, he just wants to keep you safe,' Henry explained softly as he nuzzled Ella's neck and rubbed her growing bump.

'I do understand that he wants to protect me, but I also think that he regrets the relationship I have with Mam; he isn't quite as understanding as Mama is and I don't know how to make him see that I love him just as much as my other family. I don't love one more than the other,' She explained sadly.

'Perhaps it will just take time my darling; it has only been a year after all, it will take time for you all to get used to some adjustments. Maybe you should consider talking to him, openly about exactly how it is you feel,' he suggested.

'I don't want to hurt him though, I could never do anything to hurt Papa,' she replied quietly.

'Why don't you go downstairs to him now and talk with him. You always said that you wanted no more secrets and lies, well now is your chance to be honest.'

Ella nodded her head slightly and knew that her husband was right, so she reluctantly peeled herself away from him and went in search of her father. She knew him well enough though to know, that when he had things on his mind, or he wanted to be a lone, he often hid in his dressing room, which is exactly where he was now, staring out of the window onto the grounds. He turned round when he heard the gentle tapping.

'Might I come in Papa?' She asked tentatively, unsure of the welcome she would now get, as she peered around the door.

'Of course you can, my darling little one,' he said brightly and with a warm, genuine smile, as he encouraged her inside and used his affectionate term for his youngest daughter, which told Ella that all would be well between them.

'Papa, I wanted to apologise for upsetting you, it was never mine or Henry's intentions,' she said as she stood in front of him and he guided her onto the bed.

'You don't have to apologise Ella; it is me who needs to apologise to you and to Henry too. I shouldn't have reacted like that, but it came as such as shock,' he said as he sat beside her.

'I know it did Papa and I am sorry, truly. You and Mama mean so very much to me, I love you both so dearly and I promise you, that this idea is not as a direct result of what I found out a year ago. Unlike Mary and Edith I never wanted to be a Lady or some other title in a grand house, taking charge of some estate or other, it's not who I am, although I never quite expected myself to be married to a doctor either. However, Henry makes me so very happy Papa and I love him with all my heart, but this isn't who he is either. We both realise that you and Mama have done your best to make him feel comfortable here and as part of the family and he does, but there is now more to our lives than each other and I don't just mean our baby,' Ella explained calmly.

'And I realise that Ella,' Robert replied.

'I realise that my life will be very different when I move from here, but I hope you can see why it is that I have to move.'

'And does this have anything to do with Mrs Hughes?' He asked with a slightly disapproving tone and Ella didn't know how best to answer him.

'Papa, you and Mama will always be my parents; nothing will ever change that for me, but you have to understand that you share me with Mrs Hughes. When I found out that she is my mother last year, you and Mama agreed to let her play a more maternal role in my life, something that I am so very grateful to you both for. However, every time Elsie and I try to spend time together, here, at the house, well we're constantly in fear that the staff will find out when we are secretly trying to steal moments together. It just isn't enough Papa and now that the baby is on its way, well, I want her to be able to be a grandmother. I really don't want to hurt you and Mama, but Elsie is going to be a grandmother too and I will not have my child placed in the same position I was; I will not lie to him or her about who Elsie is to them,' Ella explained calmly, choosing her words carefully, but ensuring that Robert knew exactly where it was that she stood.

'I can understand that I suppose,' Robert replied thoughtfully, finding it hard to admit to himself that he did indeed have to share his beloved daughter. 'You must think my words and my actions most abhorrent,' he added.

Ella sat silently for a few moments before replying, 'I don't think them abhorrent Papa; but I do want to find a way for my two families to be able to co-exist, without me hurting either one of you.'

Robert placed his arm around her shoulder and they sat together in comfortable silence. The fire in the grating crackled warmly as the father and daughter enjoyed their few moments together, until Ella spoke.

'Will you come and visit us Papa, in our cottage?' She asked.

'Of course I will my darling,' he whispered and for the first time, he genuinely meant it.

'And I promise I will come here to visit you all, quite probably every day until the baby is born; which I very much hope you will allow to be born here,'

'Of course; if that is what you want,' he replied.

Ella smiled brightly at him and gave him a warm, loving hug and a kiss on the cheek before wishing him goodnight, feeling happier and more at peace. He still felt uneasy, like he was trying to hold water in his hands, but was watching it trickle through his fingers. He didn't want to lose Ella, but he did realise, that to prevent losing her, he needed to let her go.


	10. Chapter 10

'I knew this would happen Cora,' Robert fumed as he paced around his bedroom, with Cora resting in her chair.

'Well what do you propose we do Robert? Prevent her from seeing Mrs Carson? Ban her from having anything to do with her? I don't exactly see what we can do except to accept the situation,' Cora reasoned.

'Does it not bother you at all Cora that our daughter is being taken away from us? She is slowly crossing the divide and forgotten that we raised her as Lady Aurelia Crawley!' He fumed.

'Robert, Ella is my daughter too and I have never once, even in the last year, thought any different. Sometimes it does bother me, that I have to share the role of her mother, but then I remember what Mrs Carson went through twenty-five years ago and what she gave up when she allowed us to take Ella,' Cora said. 'I don't doubt for one moment that Ella loves us Robert, but we have to accept that her life has changed now and that if we keep pushing her, we might push her away from us forever; which would be the very thing you're afraid of in the first place!'

'Be that as it may, she wants to raise her child, our grandchild, with the knowledge that Mrs Carson is also its grandmother; what if, when the child is older, it starts to talk in the village or draws attention to the fact with the other servants? We could risk everything that we have worked hard to protect!' He shouted as he paced some more.

'Robert, what exactly do you mean by that? The only thing we worked hard to protect during the last twenty-five years, is Ella…'

'Yes, but I failed her, didn't I? I failed to stop her from finding out the truth and from causing her immense pain; I failed to stop Richard from entering her life and from causing her more pain. What if…' he said before he broke off and sank sorrowfully into a chair in front of his wife. 'What if, the reason she is pulling further away from us, is because we've caused her too much pain, that won't heal?' He explained with a much quieter and calmer tone, which caused Cora to look at him with sorrowful understanding. She then knelt beside him and cupped his cheek lovingly in her hands.

'Robert, have you not spent any time with our daughter recently? Because if you have, you will know that she adores us both, very much, that I have no doubt of; but her compassion and empathy for others, means that she feels that she needs to make it up to Mrs Carson, for all the pain and suffering that she feels she has caused,' Cora said softly. 'Once she knew the truth, there was never going to be any question of her not forming some kind of relationship with Mrs Carson, but the question is, how we deal with it.'

'And what do you suggest exactly? That we live as one happy family?' He replied sarcastically.

'Of course not; but Ella doesn't want us to live as one big family either Robert. She's tried to create a life separate from the one she shares with us, but what else could she have done after she had found out? We couldn't very well have expected her to carry on as before, as if nothing had changed,' Cora said impatiently.

Robert looked at his wife; she was right, of course, but it didn't ease his pain any. He hated the thought of losing his youngest daughter, whom he loved more than he thought possible and hated himself for not protecting her more.

'I don't hold any ill will towards Mrs Carson; I understand that what Richard put her through must have been an awful ordeal, but I don't want us to lose Ella.'

'Well we will only lose her if we keep pushing her. We need to spend more time with her, the way she does with Mr and Mrs Carson, just the three of us, especially whilst she has to rest. Perhaps it is time that we stopped trying to turn a blind eye to her relationship with Mrs Carson and started taking more of an interest in it. I don't want our daughter to feel awkward or uncomfortable about her relationship with Mrs Carson.'

Robert looked at his wife and patted her hand softly. He knew that she was right and neither said much after that, but sat together in silent contemplation. They both thought about how they wanted to approach this latest development and deal with their own feelings for their daughter.

Whilst her parents were in their room down the hall facing emotional turmoil, Ella was in her own room with Henry. They were sat talking about their new home together and what they would do to the garden and how they planned to decorate.

'Well I don't expect you to be doing anything, at least, not until after the baby is born,' he said as he cradled her on his knee, their foreheads resting against each other.

'Darling women have babies all the time and still manage to run a house,' she replied.

'Yes, but they haven't had to deal with everything that you have and you must let me take care of you.'

'Everything is going to be alright with the baby though, isn't it? I know I'm stubborn and I don't like the idea of resting, but I do want our baby to be healthy and strong.'

'Our baby is going to be absolutely fine and so are you; we just need to take it a day at a time.' Henry placed a kiss to Ella's nose which she wrinkled playfully.

'What are we going to tell it, about my situation? I'm sure it'll want to know why it has three sets of grandparents and we will still have to keep my relationship with Mam and Dad a secret.'

'Well we have a few more years before we have to start worrying about that my love and who knows what will happen in that time; but I agree with you, our child deserves to know the truth about its family, how much we tell them though, I'm not certain,' he replied with a slightly furrowed brow.

'I can't wait to be able to spend time with Mam and Dad and our child, our own little lives separated from the life I lead here; but I do need you to understand that Downton Abbey will still play a huge part in our lives.'

'Of course it will and of course I understand that; but this move could be the best possible thing for us Ella. This is where we can finally grow, as husband and wife and as a family,' Henry replied with a smile. 'Wait until we visit it in a few days and we can really start making plans,' he added.

The rest of their evening was spent in quiet contemplation as they discussed all of their plans together, some silly, some dreamlike and some more serious; it was all there, waiting for them at their Muse Lane cottage.

 **Well that's the end of that wee story folks! I very much hope you enjoyed it and thank you all for your kind reviews; but don't feel too sad as my Elsie muse is in full swing after that forehead kiss, so the next story will be up soon xxx**


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